Cheesy Leek, Onion, and Mushroom Pie

I based this recipe on one that Nigel Slater wrote up last November, but I wanted to add more vegetables, and I didn't have any crème fraiche. As such, the filling in my take on his recipe has little in common with Nigel's original. Despite being vegetarian, this is definitely more of a "comfort food" than it is "healthy."

OVERVIEW

Prep - Quick, less than 10 minutes

Cook  - About 90 minutes, in stages.

Serves - 4-5 as a main dish 

You'll need - Leeks, Onions, Mushrooms, Parmesan, Soft Cheese, Cream, Flour, Eggs, Butter

It's difficult to eat a 'reasonable portion' of this pie. You've been warned.

RECIPE

Start with the crust - measure out 180g of butter (about a stick and a half) from the fridge, then dice it into cubes about a quarter inch to a side. Add in 300g of flour (one and a quarter cups) and (with clean hands) squish the chunks of butter into the flour, until all your little butter cubes have been squashed/mixed into a semi-consistent "dry slurry" of flour and butter. Drop in an egg yolk and about 50ml of water (about a quarter cup) . Mix that up with your hands until it looks like dough, then ball it up and stick it in the fridge for a bit.

While the dough chills, slice about 2 pounds of leeks into half-inch rounds, then rinse those to get rid of any sand. Leeks are delicious, but they've got that unfortunate trick of hiding sand between their layers, like an onion that spent too long at the beach. Once cleaned, toss the leeks into a heavy pan with more butter (half a stick) as well as salt and pepper, cover them, and cook them on low heat for a solid 20 minutes, stirring once or twice as you go. You don't want much color on the leeks; cooking them gently keeps their flavor mild.

While the leeks cook down, grab about 15 button mushrooms, clean and quarter them. Slice 4 cloves of garlic thinly. While you're at it, slice up an onion into thin strips. You can probably put the cutting board away after that.

The leeks will probably be about done when you finish, so tip those into a bowl and replace them with the mushrooms and garlic. Those won't need a lid, just stir them occasionally for 10-15 minutes over low/medium heat while you return to the crust. Add salt and pepper; you probably don't need more butter - the leaks will have left a decent sheen on the pan - but keep an eye on the garlic so that it doesn't burn. As the mushrooms cook down, they'll (ideally) leak moisture into the pan so the garlic doesn't dry out, but such things are fickle. 

This is a good time to preheat the oven to 395f (or 200c if you can use the word "chuffed" in a sentence). Toss a large baking sheet in there to heat along with the oven, and clear a (lightly floured) space on your counter to roll out your dough.

Working slowly, flatten the chilled dough-ball on the counter with a rolling pin, enjoying the wonderful smells around you. Roll it out to a thin pie crust, probably a scant 1/4 inch. You want it to be a bit bigger than a dinner plate. Once it's there, transfer it to a sheet of parchment paper, but leave it on the counter for now.

The mushrooms & garlic should be done around the same time as your crust, so transfer them to the bowl of leeks, add a bit of oil to the pan (if needed) and then cook the onions. Again, low/medium heat will work just fine.

While the onions caramelize, prep the cheese. Start with parmesan - you're looking for 80g of parmesan (or 3 ounces) as well as about 140g of a soft and creamy cheese (5 ounces) - I used a package of Boursin since it was getting old, but goat cheese would work great here too. Grate the parmesan, and break the soft cheese up into smallish chunks.

The onions probably still need time, so give them a stir and prep your egg wash by cracking an egg into a small bowl, whisking it, and tracking down a pastry brush.

When the onions are ready (I cook the tar out of onions, since I prefer them to be a bit noodlish) you can add all the other vegetables to the pan. Add in a sprinkling of flour to help it thicken. Stir that all together, add in the cheeses, and pour in about half a pint of heavy cream (about a cup). Let all of that melt together for a bit, stirring frequently, until the cream is absorbed. 

Dump the filling to the center of your pie crust, then fold the crust partway up around it, working around the sides and leaving the center open. Brush the crust with your egg wash, then carefully transfer the pie (You can use the parchment paper to "slide" the pie) onto your preheated baking sheet.

Just look at that wonderfulness. Oozing creamy, cheesy vegetables.

Let the pie cook for about 40 minutes, then allow 10 more for it to cool. Enjoy!

INTERLUDE II - WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

This narrative interlude focuses on Trixie's background, and takes place between ANNIHILATION ADJACENT EPISODE II and EPISODE III.

PLAY NEON WHITE

Neon White was much more fun than it had any right to be. It was developed by Angel Matrix, a collaborative group of independent developers, and published by  Annapurna Interactive.

Annapurna has published some good stuff - they have an impressive catalog of games in their past; some that I recognize like What Remains of Edith Finch, Outer Wilds. Annapurna also published a few titles in my own backlog, like Sayonara Wild Hearts, The Artful Escape, and Stray.

DIVING RIGHT IN

On the surface, it's hard to say exactly why I enjoyed Neon White. As a first-person shooter, most of the game's levels are incredibly short - the longest take perhaps 5 minutes to complete, but most of them will be closer to 45 seconds.

There are no real narrative choices to be made in the game; but almost every level has a hidden collectible, and finding those collectibles (gifts for NPCs) drives the story forward with a given NPC. Tying the character-focused plot advancement to in-game collectibles makes the overall game feel sort of like a visual novel, but it works.

The intro trailer for Neon White is gorgeous.

The enemies aren't particularly imaginative - nearly all of them stand in a fixed location, firing at you when you come within range. They're not particularly complex either, most of them are just black silhouettes of demons and such.

THE STYLISH EXECUTION

The game is certainly stylish though; it opens with a slick anime sequence that explains the game's premise - that you're a sinner tasked to clear out demons who have invaded heaven. You've lost your memories from life - those gradually come back as you move through the game - and you're in competition with the other Neons (that's what they call sinners) to destroy the most demons.

That theme - fighting demons as a damned soul visiting heaven - is well represented throughout the every aspect of the game, be it through the level design (lots of clouds, golden arches, etc), weapons (more on that in a bit), art (Neons all wear white masks made of plot), and the NPCs.

In any shooter, the weapons your character wields are practically a character in their own right. Anyone who has played Halo would recognize the iconic pistol of the first game. The weapons in Neon White were clearly chosen deliberately. Each is a classic shooter archetype - a pistol, a sniper rifle, a submachine gun, a shotgun, an automatic rifle, and a rocket launcher - and is represented by a card. Fire ammunition, and your card will show a gradually reducing "meter" until you run out of ammo. 

Alternately, you can "discard" a weapon to trigger a traversal skill instead. Discard your pistol for a mid-air jump, or discard your sniper rifle to lunge forward and cross a long gap - many of the level "shortcuts" rely on efficient use of your weapon discards in order to navigate the level as fast as possible.

The game's real appeal comes from the careful crafting of the various levels within it - it's a speedrunning game (the first I've played) where it's sort of a given that you will be able to complete all the levels. The trick is in completing them as fast as possible. Every level feels like a race forward - often against a "ghost" representing your previous "best time" - where you run/jump/
shoot/etc in a headlong sprint to the end of the level. 

When you've completed the level quickly enough you'll rank on a global leaderboard, and can see how many other players have beaten your "best" time. When you complete a level in decent time, you feel like a badass.

After 40ish hours spread over a couple weeks, I did *not* 100% Neon White. I did manage to "Ace" each level, but skipped the "Level rush" modes you can unlock toward the end, and I missed a few of the more annoying achievements - for example defeating a few "boss fights" before the boss enters their final stage.

THE FRIENDS YOU MAKE ALONG THE WAY

Most of the game's story is told through conversations with the game's major NPCs - some of them are people your character knew in life, and others work in Heaven to help Neons with their tasks. They're all pretty compelling characters - the writers for this game had a lot of fun with their dialogue. Without going into too much detail, there are a lot of jokes in the game, and nearly all of them are at your main character's expense.

The dialogue in the game is definitely a mood.

At the end of the day, what I really loved about Neon White was the originality of it. I've never played a "speedrunning" game, and it was a refreshing way for me to engage with a shooter. It's also incredibly clean and polished - one of the benefits of their "basic" design aesthetic is that everything (the level design, jumping/discard systems, weapon balance, etc) feels satisfying and tight. It gets nine heavenly delights out of ten; against my better judgement, I'm pretty sold on Neon White.

ANNIHILATION ADJACENT - EPISODE II: OF PIRATES AND DRAGON TURTLES

This is the second recap episode for ANNIHILATION ADJACENT, covering the events of a game that took place on April 13, 2024. It takes place directly after EPISODE I.